You never walk alone

Many people don't understand why you would have a pet. I can tell you why: To not be alone in times like this. It's hard enough to practice social distancing, even though the country is empty up here anyways. If someone tells you, you are not allowed to get close to people, it still feels different.

So at least, I have my dogs to cuddle with. And I have my dogs to go for a walk with. Winter doesn't stop up here. Not yet. Just in the last days, we got plenty of snowfall. It is nice, but as well: enough. Enough shoveling (nice training), enough breaking through the snow until my hips. Enough shoveling (did I mention that yet?). As long as I don't look at pictures from the rest of Europe, I don't care about the snow. But friends sending me pictures from picnics at the lakeside on the green meadows, make me a little jealous I have to admit.

But then again: what is more beautiful than going for a walk in the fresh deep snow? Untouched landscape, no man no animal around you? Just you and nature? That's why I moved to Norway. Why I love it here. So why complain? Well, walking the same distances over and over again, get somehow boring. Even though, there is a new beauty every new day.

The dog tries to run ahead of me, until he finds out that it is easier to walk behind me. And suddenly: another sprint in front of me, trying to jump, but he just can swim. A Corona-lonely-walk. Just him and me, but at least two tracks, two shadows.

It is Easter time which means that whole Norway is off to a 10 days vacation. My plan was to spend the holiday in sunny Switzerland. That was before Corona. How quickly can life change?

For me it is the very first time, that outer circumstances redefine my life. Of course, I have been leaving my home country, I have been changing homes and jobs. But my own decision was alway involved. It is not now. Talking to a friend who grew up in Belarus, it shows me how lucky I am. Maybe it is because of that that it is so hard to accept?

My friend is the same age as me and has experienced a few major changes in her life. She remembers the accident in Chernobyl, which still gets her very emotional. And she remembers the collapse of the Soviet Union. For her, it is the third time, that life changes. She couldn't affect any of these changes, just had to accept them. Is it easier for her to deal with all our new rules? Well, for the first time she lives in a country where communication actually is practised, where information is given. I almost feel guilty, not being able to accept all the changes.

The virus is here. Unseen, silent, but here. Even though it has not arrived in our little town yet. We know it, and we know we have to fight it. But give up all the projects planned? Put everything on wait? I can't do it. I really just refuse. Happily, in our town it is not difficult to keep distance. There is no park with spring flowers and hundreds of people. That is our advantage now.

But in these times, where emptyness is everywhere, where distance is normal, it is not alway easy to find the beauty in loneliness. 

Corona, Corona

Grey days look nice from inside. But they are not.

Some months ago, the only thing I would associate with Corona was a bottle of beer. The one where you never know if you get your wedge of lime or lemon with it or not.
And now? Corona must be the most used word these weeks. People are calling from Switzerland to check on me. How are the rules? How is life affected? My nieces are having home schooling and address their father as Mr. Teacher.

What changed? Everything. Normal life problems seem to disappear. And still we know that they will come back. Corona won't last forever. Neither the beer or the virus. Sitting home 24/7 is not healthy for my mind. Dogs are waiting for a slep trip, while rain is pouring down in the middle of winter. The sun doesn't shine in Norway. How often can you ski the same route until it doesn't reload your mind anymore?

Meetings are being moved online and work is as efficient as never before. Almost no phone calls as half of Norway is not working anymore. How to run a business where there seems to be no future? How to sell a summer vacation to people who can't pay their bills anymore? And how to keep up your own motivation as a leader in a crisis like this?

I heard the chief of the Norwegian Army sharing some thoughts on crisis leadership today. Get ready for the worst case scenario. Be prepared that this crisis will not be over in a few weeks. And what is the loss of money, if you can lose a man in the war? Well, I guess he puts things in perspective. But as we know from journalism, what bothers us most, is what is closest.

I wasn't afraid of the impact of the corona virus as long as it was in China or even in Italy. How could it affect our business in the middle of nowhere. Well, I learned a hard lesson. So yes, losing a man in war is worse than not being able to pay the bills. But only in the bigger picture. In my own little small world, life right now is about smaller problems. It is about paying the bills, go on with planned projects, taking care of our jobs and hoping for an open park this summer. If we only think worst case scenarios, we suddenly lose our creativity to see new solutions. I don't have to solve the crisis. I have to deal with it and its impact on my life and business. So staying positive and creative is the only thing which helps me.

So maybe taking another round on the same ski route is not creative anymore. But what if I allow my thoughts to lead wherever they want in this big winter wilderness? Or just jump into my home sauna and dream of a summerday in the alps. Corona will go over. And smaller problems will be important again.

Questions with no Answers

My new work mate while working from home.

I might have a dream job. At least, it comes as close to a dream job to me as it can be. But could I ever imagine to tell my employees that we don't have work anymore? And not because of my mismanagement or a bad season. But because of a global crisis no-one could foresee.
That  must have been one of the worst days in my working life. The crisis is not only giving the company a hard time. It puts workers close to personal bankruptcy.

And worse it can get. For half of our company, all is just business as usual. Animals have to be fed and taken care of. Summer employees have to be found and contracts written. Although there will be a clause in each contract that a job is only provided if the circumstances get better again. So where to start? What to do today and what to postpone?
When will we get new restrictions? What about all our projects we had planned? Should we go on with them? Postpone them or even cancel?

When will life ever be like before again? Will it ever be like before? It is not often, I have as many questions in my mind. Questions without an answer. I don't like to guess, I don't like to think too much "what if". But now my whole life is paused. What should I spend my energy on?

The other day, I got myself a new couch. In the middle of the crisis. Because I needed a change. A friend of mine commented on me spending money. My answer was humorous but yet serious: "If I might loose my job, I need at least a good couch to spend my days on". It sounds ridiculous. But it is as close as never before. I might not loose my job. But if we cannot open our park this summer, it is very real that I have to work short-time myself. The thought scares me. It's not that I couldn't imagine training dogs all day long. But money needs to come in. And how to be a manager while only working part-time?

So many questions, and no answers. We have meetings, talking about a future we don't know. We make plans with timelines which will never happen. And still, life cannot just stop. Work cannot just stop. If we all stop to be optimistic, we are lost.

That's why I go on as before. I don't ignore the crisis. I work from home, I keep a distance to people I anyways don't see. But I cannot believe that this lockdown will last for months. Really just because the thought is too scary to me.

What else can we do but write?

Tourists, go home.

Sing, it should be. But writing must do it for now. The world suddenly stopped turning. How many times did I want it to stop and it didn’t? That time I was 16 years old and in love? Or that day I was sitting on a mountain top on the Lofoten Islands looking out over the Atlantic Ocean? And it didn’t stop. The world kept on turning, life went on. Without even asking me.

And now? It all stopped. Yes, time goes on. But it doesn’t. Shops are closed, planes don’t fly, workers have no work. It all is insecure and scary. Maybe so scary that we soon will wake from a bad dream? Or is it reality? People don’t dare to shake each other’s hands anymore. They keep a distance. Social distancing, they call it. What is social about a distance? People meet online, but still are apart. It is surreal. Solidarity they call it. Care for each other.

Not going anywhere, really.

Out here in the lonesome mountains of Mid-Norway, life just goes as normal. The huskies in the dogyard are waiting for food and a sled trip. The labrador in the house wants to go for a ski trip to get rid of his energy. No people nowhere. Just as usual. But the distance is here. The neighbour stopping by doesn’t dare to step onto the doorstep. He waves from the driveway. We try to ski at different times. But yet, the sheep want their hay, the goats have to be milked.

Wild, beautiful, big, empty.

So, what is different then? That virus keeps us at home. It keeps us in quarantine, working from home, just interacting through modern technology. People are scared, what about my job? How to pay the bills? Where did our freedom go?

We don't want tourists in our country anymore. Ask them to return home. But where is home in times like this? And how to get there? Airports are closing, airlines are facing bankruptcy. Closed borders in a normally free Europe.

Writing is, what keeps me strong. What gives me hope. Get an outlet for the thoughts in my head. Sorting what is just chaos. Trying to find the silverline on the horizon. Not believing the worst scenarios. Not giving up.

People in the cities tell us they can't stay a whole day home alone. They need to go to the park. Allowed or not. My park is nature. Big, beautiful, empty Norwegian wilderness. I am lucky these days. And even luckier if I still have a job after the crisis.

Hope on the horizon?